My spoon clatters on the hardwood floor and...

broth splatters about indescriminantly staining my thermal socks and sweatpants. I raise my hands in front of me and ask, as if petitioning the Lord, "Who the hell thought Garbanzo chickpeas would enhance my Minestrone?" I loathe their half-hearted kosher crunch! Some spittle of resentment dangles on my lip, but I slurp it up and holler at Ma' to bring me some of New England's Regal Chowder, with soda crackers, of course.