The True Wrap On Greenspan's Discharge

By "discharge" we mean vaginal discharge, thats right. In a suprise midnight supreme court hearing ex -Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, now being dubbed Alan "Beanspan," and "Talon Beanhand" by maverick journalists was subpoenaed after several press-photo analysts at Brooks Insitute of Photography discovered a suspicious trend in Greenspan photos, and presented a writ of cert that especially appealed to Justice Scalia, whose blood ran hot with the theory. These were the initial damning photos, you be the judge:







The parallels are overwhelming. Scalia immediately saw the blatant sniffs Greenspan had been whiffing off of his middle and index phalanges, right under the public's "noses" for years. Scalia reportedly exclaimed, "..and I don't let anybody perpetuate the economy under my constitution after they've jammed their goddam finga's up every yoni east of the Mississippi [River]!"
Now, it became clear that Greenspan must have been paranoid; he knew the photos were out there. And to avoid a censure forever staining his name, rather than just his fingers, he retired from the Fed position. But the court got him. Last night they cornered him on the issue, and he had no escape. So he told all, observe:
The ex-Fed Chair went off on the court, and presented in an disconcerting manner, "the five [stubby] vehicles that drove [him] to the top." It was a stirring, even scarring confession. His wife and kids in the forum crying, while suprise spectator Laura Bush, clad in a white terry-cloth bathrobe, bore an uncanny Mona-Lisa-smile, and likewise suprise guest Condi Rice seemed to suck her front teeth in reminiscent satisfaction.
And what are we, the public, left with after all of this? Well, we get Ben "the Burn" Bernanke. Check him out:

The Burn demonstrates the proper restraint of appendages a Chairman ought to demonstrate. Godspeed!